December 2, 2005 - WWIII... you're soaking in it.
Last night, in a discussion about the responsibility of journalists during wartime,
O’Reilly confronted University of Texas journalism professor Bob Mann:
“Do you agree with me, Professor Mann, that we are fighting World War III?”
When the professor explained that he didn’t at this time, O’Reilly pressed onward.
“Okay, so you do not believe, you do not believe personally, we’re fighting World War III.
Okay, that’s very interesting and very telling, because I do and most Americans do.”
We were surprised to hear that “most” Americans, meaning over 50%, believe that we are in the
middle of World War III. O’Reilly is, of course, referring to data gathered from extensive polling
done by the respected Statistics I Pull Out Of My Butt Research Center.
But we must admit O’Reilly is on to something. The signs that we are in the middle of WWIII are
all around us, and life during these war years will mean a goodly amount of sacrifice for all. By
Christmas there will be ration cards for both IPODs and XBOX 360s. Starbucks will soon be
introducing a half-caff, skinny Postum latte. However, if you use Sugar In The Raw atop the froth,
it will be deducted from Coupon No. 12 in War Ration Book 1. Sorry kids, it’s World War F-ing III.
You don’t believe it? Have you forgotten that even Hummer has introduced the new gas-rationing
H3? 16 mpg, baby. We ask you, how much more can we do?
Wait. Maybe he was talking about the war on Christmas.
O’Reilly confronted University of Texas journalism professor Bob Mann:
“Do you agree with me, Professor Mann, that we are fighting World War III?”
When the professor explained that he didn’t at this time, O’Reilly pressed onward.
“Okay, so you do not believe, you do not believe personally, we’re fighting World War III.
Okay, that’s very interesting and very telling, because I do and most Americans do.”
We were surprised to hear that “most” Americans, meaning over 50%, believe that we are in the
middle of World War III. O’Reilly is, of course, referring to data gathered from extensive polling
done by the respected Statistics I Pull Out Of My Butt Research Center.
But we must admit O’Reilly is on to something. The signs that we are in the middle of WWIII are
all around us, and life during these war years will mean a goodly amount of sacrifice for all. By
Christmas there will be ration cards for both IPODs and XBOX 360s. Starbucks will soon be
introducing a half-caff, skinny Postum latte. However, if you use Sugar In The Raw atop the froth,
it will be deducted from Coupon No. 12 in War Ration Book 1. Sorry kids, it’s World War F-ing III.
You don’t believe it? Have you forgotten that even Hummer has introduced the new gas-rationing
H3? 16 mpg, baby. We ask you, how much more can we do?
Wait. Maybe he was talking about the war on Christmas.
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Sweet Jesus, I hate Bill O'Reilly, Intl.
an organization of hope
an organization of hope
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